November

Quote by Veronica Shoftstall via To Be a Lady

Last week, after a brief hiatus, I posted a fuzzy entry that really didn’t say much. I was a bit hesitant to go into details or even mention it here on the blog because it’s quite personal. Plus, to be perfectly blunt, it sucked when it happened. But this space has been a gradual exercise in putting myself out there. Opening up and sharing things whether it’s good, bad, or discovering and exploring my next step or dream. So here it is:

I was laid off from my job last week.

This news was heavy mostly because it was unexpected. Slightly. I thought my old firm had weathered the worst part of the economic downturn. So I forged on with my side adventure and began thinking and planning my next floral steps. I had recently met some wonderful people in the same boat and was truly looking forward to next year’s possibilities, plans and a milestone when I turn 30. I was so thankful for this year’s changes and for taking the steps to begin them, even though I should have done so last year. Then the layoff news hit me. And honestly, I stumbled a bit last week trying to pick myself back up.

Mr. J , from now on Z cause he is own person (who is still obsessed with privacy), has been absolutely wonderful. Granted he is my husband and most people would say that’s expected but over the years I think I have taken for granted how insightful and thoughtful he can truly be. It was surprising to hear him say that perhaps it was a good thing. That now I can try gaining more experience in a field that I was aspiring to--and he is right. It can be hard to gain floral experience working a full-time job with the usual office hours, and it definitely was hard in my situation. Working with flowers isn’t quite like learning other things. You either have to take classes or work for someone to gain knowledge.

Earlier this year, I spoke of complacency and how I’m trying to banish it from my life. And really my old job--the one I came into by chance that was supposed to hold me over as I tried to make up my mind on whether law school was right for me--had worn thin, having stayed too many years and becoming the very center of my complacency. I stayed for the steady paycheck and, quite frankly, became all too comfortable. Now, let me just say this: I’m not knocking it or anyone else in that situation cause let’s be real not everyone has or is comfortable relying on someone to take care of them financially. It’s just, being too comfortable can hinder growth instead of promoting it... at least that was the case for me.

Dahlia images by me

Things are better this week. Right now I’m staying productive and positive even when it’s hard to do so. I’m thinking, planning and acting on my next steps and remembering what I have and who I have in my life and to be thankful for them and their kind words and support. This detour wasn’t an end. It was only the beginning.